I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
