I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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