i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
