Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
