I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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