I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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