You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Randomize
