she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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