'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
So vagazzling was a success
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
