found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
