No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
