I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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