SEEEEXXX PLEASE
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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