tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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