I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
