Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
