3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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