just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
