she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
