the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
