i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
being pregnant is like rehab
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
