it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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