I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Randomize
