Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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