Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
