We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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