we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
