I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
