Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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