I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
