How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
