i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
