Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
