Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
