Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
