wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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