I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
