Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
