You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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