Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Randomize
