So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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