please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
