He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
