how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
