I cockslap morals
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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