I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
