in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
