So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
