i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I can't turn off my feet"
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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