Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
